


The greatest adventure

by Bathilda



Series: Proper goodbye [2]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Crossover, Drama, F/M, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-28
Updated: 2012-02-28
Packaged: 2017-10-31 20:50:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/348240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bathilda/pseuds/Bathilda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack and Ianto meet once more after CoE. On Babylon-5.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The greatest adventure

**Author's Note:**

> Guess the fact that proper goodbyes in Whoniverse (which includes Torchwood, of course) are very rare drives me a bit mad. Why else then would I write another fic about it? This time it’s Jack and Ianto’s goodbye. With appearance of Tosh and Owen. Again unbeta’ed and sketchy. It’s also sort of a crossover with TV-show “Babylon-5”, but if you haven’t seen it ~~go and watch right now~~ don’t worry, all you have to know for reading this story is that “Babylon-5” is a giant space station with a great history.

“Welcome to Babylon-5, Mr. Jones,” said the security guy (Z.Allan, according to his name tag) with a little smile and held out a small, but heavy stack of papers and brochures.

Ianto nodded, took the papers and left the security checkpoint. Some people, waiting outside, looked at him with disappointment for his wasn’t the one they were waiting for. And judging by the weary and hopeless looks of some of them, their waiting was very, very long. Ianto suspected that it was also true for some aliens standing next to them, but he wasn’t sure that he could accurately identify non-human expressions. What he was sure of was that Torchwood had never dealt with any of these species. Remembering Torchwood hurt, and Ianto shoved aside all thoughts and memories about it – what’s the point torturing himself now?

It took Ianto five minutes to figure out how to use the station’s transportation system and another ten to get to his apartment which was in the Red Sector. Apartment, assigned to him, was not especially spacious – one room with a kitchen area and a bed in an alcove and a bathroom with a toilet, sink and a narrow shower cabin. Notice on the wall said that “occupants are entitled to fifteen minutes of hot shower every day” and that “additional water can be provided for extra fee”. Fifteen minutes was enough for Ianto, besides he didn’t know neither how long he would stay on Babylon-5 nor how much money he had, so he couldn’t afford to waste credits on luxury. Ianto had a feeling that his waiting might be eternal. Perhaps, if he found a job, he would think about a long relaxing shower.

Ianto didn’t know why he was here. Or, rather, he knew why he was here – to wait, but had no idea why he had to do it on the space station. That was definitely not how he imagined… this whole thing.

The first thing that Ianto did in the place which would be his home for a long time – made a cup of coffee. Instant coffee, which was a blasphemy, and Ianto wowed that he would do the impossible, if necessary, but buy a coffee machine. Then he hung his clothes in a built-in wardrobe. He didn’t have many clothes with him, only a couple of jeans, a few t-shirts and shirts, a hoody, a jacket and – which would sock his former colleagues – only one three-piece suit with a red shirt. Despite his love for suits Ianto was a practical man in everything that didn’t concern his private (and especially love) life, and he understood that travelling with dozens suits in his travelling backpack wouldn’t do him any good, not mentioning his suits.

He had just closed the wardrobe when he heard a doorbell. In fact, he didn’t at first understand that a melodic ringing he was hearing was a doorbell. His heart suddenly felt too heavy for his chest and fell into his stomach. Could it be..?  No, that would be too great to be true, too lucky for him who had never been lucky in anything.

With a wildly beating heart Ianto approached the door and, not looking at the little monitor which showed who came to him, said hoarsely: “Open.” The door slid open, and Ianto froze because he saw someone he never expected to see again.

“Ianto!” Tosh fell upon his neck, and then, for the first time since he found himself of board of “Chronos”, it struck Ianto – he was dead. Really, ultimately, irrevocably dead. “Oh, Ianto, I missed you,” said Tosh whose eyes were brimming with tears. “And I’m so sorry that you got here so early.”

Ianto just shrugged trying to look calm and said nonchalantly: “We’re… were Torchwood, we knew we’d die young. I’m glad to see you too. You both.”

“Hi, mate,” said Owen who was standing next to Tosh and pulled Ianto into a quick strong hug.

“Hi. Come in.” Ianto stepped aside letting his guests into the apartment.

Tosh and Owen sat on the sofa, Ianto – on a chair in front of them, and he said with a sigh: “Sorry, can’t offer you coffee – I’ve only instant, and believe me, it’s too terrible to even look at it.”

“Yeah, we know,” grumbled Owen. “Been there, done that. You can’t get normal coffee here, we tried every café and shop – in all of them coffee is bad, super bad, disgusting or not coffee at all. Still can’t understand how they survive on this crap.”

“Apparently, it’s too expensive to bring here coffee. They say that there was time when the former Commander of the station grew coffee in the hydroponic gardens, but it’s long gone.”

“Along with the Commander.”

They were the same Tosh and Owen Ianto worked with, but at the same time different, and it took Ianto some time to realize that they were just happy. Very, very happy. Ianto had never seen them so happy in Torchwood. There was no usual sadness in Tosh’s eyes and no usual bitterness and cynicism in Owen’s tone. And as Owen took Tosh’s hand and began to stroke her wrist with a pad of his thumb, Ianto thought that after his second death Owen, fortunately, had pulled his head out of his arse and finally saw Tosh and let himself feel something besides resentment and hidden insecurity. Ianto was glad for them, he really was, but he couldn’t help but feeling a bit jealous. He wouldn’t have this “happily ever after-death” even if Jack came, and it was as unfair as it was anticipated. Never lucky, not him.

Ianto knew that it was stupid to ask, but still asked: “Um, are you… are you alone here? I mean, the only one from Torchwood?”

Both Tosh and Owen looked at him with sympathy.

“Yes, sorry,” answered Tosh with a trace of guilt in her voice.

“We wouldn’t be here either – another jurisdiction, wrong world and all that stuff,” added Owen, “but we were told that you’d soon get here and we decided that we could as well come and wait for you here. After all, it’s not as we’re late for something.”

“We wanted to make sure we’d see you at least once more,” said Tosh. “But we really hope that you’ll come with us.”

“Where to?”

“We settled upon Deneb IV,” answered Tosh. “They say that it’s a beautiful place, very peaceful, and is always in need of new people.”

It felt surreal to Ianto to talk about coffee, another planets and Torchwood. In fact, in their position it felt strange to talk about anything at all. They were dead, for God’s sake! Some of them – even twice. Where are fires of Hell (or trees of Eden, for that matter, though Ianto was pretty sure that he would never get there anyway) or darkness and oblivion? When Ianto woke up on board of “Chronos” and understood that he was dead, but at the same time – not exactly, for he was talking, walking and breathing, he was too shocked to think about it. He was completely calm all the way to “Babylon-5” – his, according to the steward of “Chronos”, point of destination, and didn’t spare a thought about this whole situation. He somehow knew that he was in this… world if it could be called like this, to meet Jack, to see him once more, and at that time it was enough for Ianto. But now all repressed emotions suddenly broke free, and Ianto almost drowned in them. Grief, fear, sadness, disbelief, joy and shock of seeing Tosh and Owen – all that made him breathless, gulping for air, and  it wasn’t for Tosh, who was rubbing his back and telling him that everything would be good, and Owen, who made him drink some water, Ianto would have definitely drowned.

“That’s okay,” kept on saying Tosh soothingly, “that’s okay, everything’s gonna be fine.”

“Yeah, happens even to the best of us,” added Owen, and Ianto suspected that Owen had had a similar reaction to his new afterlife.

Some time later, when Ianto calmed down and was rather embarrassed about his breakdown, he asked with a frown: “So what’s about this Deneb IV?”

“Well, “Balylon-5” is just a meeting point, as soon as people meet with those they were waiting for, they go further.”

“There are a lot of flights from “Babylon-5” to other planets. Or you can buy a ticket to a ‘Wonder flight’, and a cruiser will bring you to some random place.”

“I suspect that this Deneb IV is not like real Deneb IV,” said Tosh wistfully, “but that doesn’t matter, I suppose. It’s an afterlife, after all, it can’t be just like real world.”

“Besides, we’ve never been to Deneb IV, so I don’t care if it’s not a real one. If there is oxygen, warm climate, good coffee and apartment with plumbing, I say it’s good enough,” said Owen.

He and Tosh smiled to each other, enclosed in their little love bubble, and Ianto did his best just to be happy for them.

“Next flight to Deneb IV is tomorrow, and there are exactly three tickets left,” said Tosh.

“We checked as soon as we saw your name in the arrival list,” nodded Owen.

“I…I hope you’ll be happy there,” said Ianto through the lump in his throat.

“What? You… aren’t you coming with us?” asked Tosh with wide eyes. “But we thought…”

“I will wait for Jack,” replied Ianto firmly, not looking her in the eyes.

Owen, still being Owen and, probably, not knowing how to react to this with tact, snorted: “He’s immortal, mate. He won’t come here.”

“Sometimes he comes back to life not immediately and not even soon after death, like with Abaddon. He may come here in-between his deaths.”

“He never does,” said Owen mildly. “All he sees is cold and empty darkness.”

“There’s always the end of the world,” said Ianto stubbornly with a note of finality in his voice, and Tosh and Owen realized that he wouldn’t change his mind.

“All right then,” said Owen clearly disapprovingly. “Hope he’s worth it.”

“He is. So, if you aren’t too busy with getting ready for your tomorrow’s trip, maybe you can show me the station. How long have you been here? Since your, um, death?”

“It’s hard to tell; sometimes it seems that it’s been days, sometimes – that weeks and months. But we had enough time to explore the station. It was… educational.”

“She figured out how everything works here in a week,” said Owen, and Tosh grinned a bit shyly, but proudly.

“Then you just have to share this sacred information with me,” smiled Ianto.

“Not all of it,” said Tosh, “or you’ll get bored too soon.”

The rest of the day (though “day” was quite a relative concept on a space station) they spent on a tour around “Babylon-5”. Tosh and Owen led Ianto though all levels, even mostly abandoned ones, showed him hydroponic gardens, the best restaurants, docks and an observation deck which absolutely fascinated Ianto. The night they spent talking about everything. Well, almost everything – they didn’t talk about their future, and Tosh and Owen never asked Ianto about the circumstances of his death. Maybe they knew, maybe just didn’t want to upset him. In the morning they had breakfast in a small restaurant which, according to Owen, served the best pancakes in “this giant tin”. After that Owen and Tosh went to pack their things, and Ianto returned to his apartment to take a quick shower. He felt slightly dizzy and still couldn’t completely believe in what was going on. Could he be hallucinating because of the 456 gas and be still alive? Not likely, though it would be nice. Ianto looked in the mirror – he hadn’t changed since the Thames House, only the bruise was gone.  Who knew that his afterlife would be as confusing as his real life?

Frankly speaking, Ianto didn’t exactly wish to see Tosh and Owen off. It was too hard and, besides, Ianto was afraid that their… parting of the ways, so to say, would make him change his mind and join them. The idea of spending an indefinite, but possibly infinite amount of time in this strange and half-dead place alone, without friends or any remnants of his former life was terrifying. Would he be as resolute to wait for Jack’s arrival here as he was now in a few months, years, decades? Well, after all he could always buy a ticket to Deneb IV if he grew tired of waiting and loneliness. But Ianto hoped that he’d be stronger than that.

Their goodbye wasn’t like Ianto imagined it. While it was hard and tearful, there was no heart-wrenching pain behind their tears and farewells. As if Tosh and Owen had already half-forgotten Ianto and were only looking forward to their new future together, leaving him behind with almost light hearts. As if Ianto had long buried and mourned them and was seeing only distant memories. Maybe, in a way it was true.

“Hope to see you again one day”, smiled faintly Tosh and kissed Ianto in a cheek. “Say hi to Jack from us.”

“Take care, mate”, Owen slapped Ianto on the shoulder, took their bags and nodded to Tosh. “Going?”

“Yes, of course,” answered she. “Bye, Ianto. Good luck.”

“Thanks,” grumbled Ianto, but Tosh and Owen already turned their backs to him, heading to the checkpoint, and didn’t pay him any attention. They never looked at him again and soon disappeared in the shuttle. It upset Ianto much less than it should have. Everything was as it was supposed to be.

* * *

Ianto had been exploring the station for a week and then found a job as a bartender and barista in one of the station’s cafes. Judging by the increased number of clients Ianto managed to brew something decent of the still disgusting coffee. Different additives, including alien ones, definitely helped.

From one of his regular clients, head of the security Zack Allan (who met him when he arrived) Ianto found out that once, in real life, the station had known glorious days and played a key role in politics, war and peace in this universe.

“After all, it made difference, in spite of everything” said Zack pensively. “Was destroyed long before my death. Fulfilled its destiny and was no longer needed, as they said. It was true of course, but to blow up such a place… Seemed wrong to me. Not fair. But I always knew that it couldn’t end just like that, after all that happened there, all victories, sorrows and greatness. Such places just don’t dissolve into nothings, and I was right. Funny thing, though, when I was alive I didn’t believe in such things, all that supernatural and spiritual stuff, no matter how many of them I saw in my time.”

From Zack Ianto also learned that the personnel of the station consisted of those who weren’t waiting for anyone and of those who were waiting already for a long-long time. The formers were here because they had no better place to go and had chosen Babylon-5 either because they served here before or because it somehow appealed to them. Zach was one of the latters, but he didn’t say who he was waiting for.

Ianto had no idea where people who had nobody to wait for went, but nobody could answer him that question.

“Beyond the Rim?” shrugged Zack. “Where the Frist Ones went?”

The First Ones were the very first sentient beings in this Universe, and it was thrilling to think that someone could see and meet them. Nobody could also answer where they were now. Not the First Ones, of course, but Babylon-5 and its inhabitants and guests. Another dimension, illusion, Hell or Eden… Nobody, including Ianto, actually cared. There were lots of flights from Babylon-5 to different planets, but not to Earth or any mother planet of any race. It was also impossible to go to one’s home planet. Ianto had his doubts as to whether travelers from Babylon-5 really reached their points of destination or they disappeared somewhere between here and there and went straight to some another plane of existence, but he kept his thoughts to himself. Not that he had many people to share them with. Apart from Zack Allan Ianto more or less regularly communicated only with two people. One was the owner of the café Norman Gates, short fat human, who spent most of his days drowsing at the table in the corner, second – another regular, Trisha Collins, sweet shy girl,  who worked in the Maintenance and reminded him Tosh. None of them were even close to being Ianto’s friends. (Which was nothing new in comparison with his former life.)

Ianto didn’t know how many days passed since Tosh and Owen’s had left. It was easy to lose count, for days here as life in general were monotonous, tasteless and odorless, without strong emotions, without anything that could make living here be a real life and not merely dull and grey existing. Sometimes Ianto checked the information service – there always was at least one ticket to Deneb IV. Ianto always quickly closed the window, before he got too tempted to buy it.

He never went to the arrival zone or looked at the lists of arrivals for he was sure that if Jack came, he would find him no matter what. They would find each other.

He was right.

There was no forewarning, no apprehension – one afternoon Ianto just looked up from the glass he was drying and saw Jack. Absolutely not changed Jack, looking at him with awe, unbelief, pure joy and searing sadness.

“Hello, gorgeous,” Jack whispered.

Ianto put down the glass, calmly approached Jack and after looking in his eyes for a few long seconds pulled him into a bruising kiss. By this moment Ianto had almost lost any hope that this would ever happen.

* * *

Sex wasn’t great. It wasn’t even moderately good. In fact, in other circumstances it would be simply embarrassing – just quick and rough fumbling, like two teenagers. But it didn’t matter, because it was them and it was perfect.

“I missed you so much, my Ianto.”

“I missed you too.”

They were cuddling and spooning which they rarely ever did before. That was a picture, an essence of their relationship – they had to die to find time and courage to let themselves cuddle. Sad, but... fitting. Or at least understandable.

“How are you?..”

“The Doctor. It’s strangely pleasing to know that even he can be mistaken. He thought that without other Timelords going to parallel dimensions means tearing the holes in the fabric of time and space. But here I am, and my body’s currently floating in the open space in the real version of this universe. And no holes anywhere. I mean, no holes where there shouldn’t be any.”

Jack was bubbling like in the old times, because he was nervous and because he still couldn’t say out loud what he really wanted to. That was familiar and reassuring.

“Does that mean that you’re here for long?”

“Nah, they’ll soon find me. Soon-ish. But I’m glad that it gave me a chance to see you. Never hoped I would.”

Jack’s grip on Ianto became almost painfully tight, but Ianto didn’t mind. It had been a long time since he felt so alive.

“How long has it been since I died? For you?” It was a right question or, at least, logical, but Ianto still felt that he was talking about wrong, unimportant things. Maybe that was true, but, just like Jack, Ianto couldn’t bring himself to talk about important things. Again – nothing new.

“A while.”

Ianto sighed and turned to face Jack.

“Jack, it doesn’t matter how long it’s been for you and how many lovers you’ve had since then, because I know you and you need hear this: it wasn’t your fault. I don’t care what you think about it, but I tell you that it wasn’t your fault, okay? It was my life and my decision. 456 killed me, not you. The burden of guilt on your shoulders is heavy enough without this.”

Jack didn’t avert his eyes, and Ianto could see that he didn’t believe him. Didn’t want to believe.

“Listen, I understand. Really, I do,” Ianto stroked Jack’s cheek. “With Lisa and everything… I get it, trust me, but you’re only hurting yourself over nothing. But since you prefer to be a stubborn bastard, I forgive you for my death and for everything else you’re feeling guilty for. And I’m serious.”

Jack mirrored Ianto’s gesture and said hoarsely: “You can’t speak for them all, my Ianto. No matter how bad I want it – you just can’t.”

“Well, if it somehow escaped your attention, I’m sort of dead. Believe me, I know that grudges and hate stay behind, there is no place for them here. No one here waits for someone they loathed or despised, they only wait for beloved and dear ones. So yes, I know that you have forgiveness of all people you seek it from. Let’s say I’m their legal representative.”

“I’ll try to keep it in mind when I go back,” Jack smiled slightly and caressed Ianto’s lips with his thumb. He still didn’t quite believe Ianto, wasn’t ready to let go of the guilt he felt for deaths of people he loved or just was responsible for, because in some bizarre way this guilt helped him to cope with his grief. But Ianto could tell that his words took roots in Jack’s soul and, perhaps, some day he would be free of this burden.

“Please try,” Ianto rolled his eyes. “I’ve been waiting for you here for God knows how long to tell you that.”

“Just that?” Jack asked archly, his tension and sadness dissipating.

“Also that I love you, but you know that well enough.”

And before Jack could answer Ianto kissed him, effectively distracting, and rendered him speechless. Ianto didn’t need words to know the truth.

* * *

When Ianto woke up he was in bed alone. It neither surprised, no upset him for he knew that it would be like that. He also knew that Jack wasn’t in the shower or exploring the station or taking care of breakfast. Jack was gone.

Ianto spent several hours in bed which smelled faintly of Jack. Then he called Norman and informed him that he was quitting. Right now. Norman took the news with his usual tranquility and wished him luck. Next Ianto packed his things. He had no reason to stay on the station any longer, and nothing could make him keep on living here. After that Ianto logged in the information service and looked at the list of flights for today. There were three of them: to Proxima Deneb IV and Wonder Flight. Ianto remembered how glad he was to see Tosh and Owen, how happy they were… and bought a ticket to Wonder Flight. After all, as a child Ianto always loved books about adventures and mysteries. Torchwood almost killed this love for adventures and exploring new horizons, but wasn’t death supposed to be the greatest adventure? Ianto had a feeling that this Wonder Flight would be quite entertaining. As for Tosh and Owen, and Jack and all others whom Ianto would like to see once more… well, something was telling him that he would have such a chance.

So Ianto took his bag, said goodbye to Zack who was on duty at the checkpoint that day (and wasn’t at all stunned that Ianto was leaving alone) and got abroad the shuttle which would take him to the spaceship ”Wonderous”.

It was high time to start a new life.


End file.
